My sister's life has been fraught with suicide attempts, drug addiction, and trips in and out of the hospital for depression. For years she hid who she felt she really was for fear of becoming an outcast. The funny thing is, everyone who gets the opportunity to talk to her for more than a minute loves her. I mean everyone. I mean the Harley guys at the biker bar. I mean the Army guys who were my husband's groomsmen in our wedding. I mean the rednecks who are totally freaked out by her, but for one reason or another end up talking to her, and the next thing you know, the world's a slightly better place cause some guy woke up a little less hateful the next morning. But like I said, that's the people who give themselves a chance to meet her.
People who don't give themselves that chance, however, are a different story. She's been heckled, snickered and stared at, and she can't find a job to save her life. I think the people who interview her like her well enough, but they are afraid their customers or other employees won't. The situation has gotten so bad, my mother has made it her full time job to find my sister a job. She's sent away and signed up for every work-from-home scam in the universe. The only promising one was stuffing envelopes. But my mom forgot my sister has a phobia of mail. Seriously. I'm not joking. One of my sister's trips to the hospital was for a breakdown that was the result of being months behind on her bills because she piles her mail out of sight. She can't bring herself to open it. She might be able to handle stuffing it, but we'll never know because the whole package of crap she's supposed to put into envelopes arrives by--you guessed it--mail. Yeah, my sister has issues. But that's kind of my point.
Ironically another headline they haven't been able to stop talking about in the news this week is "Should ugly people be protected from discrimination?" I'm not suggesting for a second that my sister is ugly. But oddly, just because she looks good doesn't mean people can't tell she hasn't always been a woman. The only surgery she's had has been on her body, not her face. She has naturally high cheekbones any woman would die for, but she also has a more prominent eyebrow ridge than most women. In a nutshell, she's pretty--but you can still tell. And for all the talk of how hard it is to get a job when you're ugly--and you do learn all about the countless studies on this subject, believe it or not, in social psychology 101--I argue that it's still easier to get a job when you're ugly than when you're transgendered. People aren't made uncomfortable by ugly. Ugly isn't perceived as a choice. People feel sorry for ugly.
CNN's American Morning Facebook page is being flooded with angry viewers who are threatening to boycott Dancing With The Stars because they are outraged Chaz Bono will be on the show. Most of these people have stated they are "sick of the media promoting the gay and lesbian agenda." Many of them can't even say poor Chaz's name without following it with the word "freak." I think it's interesting that in the midst of all the hoopla, everyone claims to be upset about the "gay and lesbian agenda," as if the fact that Chaz's transgendered status is secondary.
I don't remember any controversy over the handful of gay contestants that have been on the show in the past. For all the controversy over gay marriage and gay lifestyle issues in general, I haven't heard the word "freak" tossed around in decades. It seems that we have come to a point in our society where, regardless of one's views on homosexuality, people have in recent years had the good sense and decency to keep such venomous and hateful language out of the discourse. Transgendered individuals are often lumped in with the gay and lesbian community as if they are all the same, but I think the public outrage of Chaz shows they are still treated very different. While homosexuals have made great strides in being accepted--if not "tolerated" by those who disapprove--in mainstream society, transgendered people are still very much outcast and shunned by the world at large.
Don't get me wrong. I understand the fundamental difference between the LGBT community and other protected classes is behavior. I also understand that most people who fall under the LGBT umbrella feel they were born with their preference or identity, but generally it is the choice to fulfill the identity, rather than the identity itself, that generates the controversy. This is a legitimate distinction to make when debating matters of legislation or policy. It's an even more important point to consider when asking the highly controversial question, Should homosexuality and transgender identity be treated as mental health issues or simply accepted for what they are? But the distinction is not really relevant when it is used to justify cruelty toward consenting adults who aren't infringing on anyone else's rights.
To all those outraged folks who identified themselves as Christians and have used the phrases "freak," "unacceptable," "shouldn't be tolerated," etc., I would like to suggest you go back to church and listen a little more carefully. Last time I attended mass, I was told it's God's job to judge, not mine. I'm not suggesting you have to agree with Chaz's decision to undergo surgery, or support any kind of legislation or policy regarding marriage or adoption or whatever, but like it or not, transgendered people exist. If you really believe the appropriate response is to outcast them, or ignore them, or to keep them off our television sets, than all I can say is that your cruelty doesn't strike me as being very Christian at all.
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